“I am going to run out of my classroom and scream for help,” she had whined as her female relatives asked her what she was going to do if she had gotten her period at school. She was confused, angry, and trying to process all the information she had just received. These emotions had overwhelmed her so much so that she started to cry. She didn’t want that to happen to her.
Whenever a female in her family reached the double digits, the older females would have a serious talk with them. She had a sister who was four years older than her. When her sister had ‘the talk’ she desperately wanted to barge into the room and listen to what they were saying. But now that her time had come she hoped for simpler times. Times when she couldn’t tell the difference between a uterus and a Eunice. Before they started asking questions they taught her about what a period means, why one has a period and everything she needed to know about pads. She prayed that God would take away her uterus so she wouldn’t have to experience such excruciating pain and embarrassment. As all these thoughts rushed through her mind, she was asked the big question. Her aunts, her mom, and her sister asked her what she would do if she had ever gotten her period at school. She finally verbalized her panic with this response: I am going to run out of my classroom and scream for help. She was afraid of change, afraid of becoming something she was not.
Soon she would realize that this, getting a period, is something to be proud of and something that one must embrace.
The little girl in that story is indeed me. My first period was not as dramatic and traumatic as this story I have just shared with you. It was only less than a year from that conversation when I had gone to the bathroom and realized I had blood stains on my underwear. My first thought, shockingly, was that I had just got a scab that I scraped off. So I shrugged it off and left the bathroom like nothing was wrong. But when I had the same experience every trip to the bathroom for about 4 days, I knew that wasn’t normal. I told my mom and she told me I had got my first period. She called her sisters and shared the great news. A day later my grandparents came to my house and my grandmother had bathed me in Manja (turmeric). This was extremely important to my family and their Tamil culture when all girls got their period they had experienced this too. After days of persuasion, I agreed to have a ‘coming of age’ party as long as I received presents. I didn’t initially want a part because I still felt this immense amount of shame and hatred for my body. I was changing but all I wanted was to stay the same
It’s now been over 6 years and I can happily say I have overcome this shame. I had to learn for the first time that a period was something to be proud of, something I should embrace. I was taught to hide my period and my pads when I walked to the bathroom. I was taught that it is inappropriate to openly talk about periods in front of my male peers but this kind of silence allowed boys to think that periods were disgusting. From as little as 13 I was asked by my male peers when I was irritated or angry if I was on my period. We have been taught that periods are shameful. It took me a long time to even realize that that was even a problem. It took me far too long to realize that menstruating was a natural part of being a female. I am disgusted that I had succumbed to these stereotypes for that long. I am upset that I didn’t call out period shaming when I heard it. We need more period education in our schools but not only for women but men too. We need to be more open about periods.
As I look back at these two experiences I am reminded of my privilege. I am so grateful that not only my mom but also my aunts had explained what a period was. I have never had to worry about missing a day of school. I have never experienced a time when I did not have the proper sanitary items during my period. This is the sad reality of many black South African females today. Many girls in my country haven’t had a proper period education. They were forced to figure it out themselves. My experience should be the experience of all girls, I call all women to teach your daughters and sons period pride. I call all women to think twice about the period norms they grew up with. I call all privileged females to fight for female sanitary equality. Together we can end period shaming and bring about sanitary equality worldwide.
-Kristen Peters